Planning and Preparing for Sabbath
A word that I use often is "rhythm." We have a rhythm to our days and weeks, the season and year. "Rules" and "routines" sound regimented, but "rhythm" not only keeps us moving--it politely reminds us of the importance of rest.
Because Sabbath is non-negotiable, it doesn't sneak up on us each week; we know that it's coming. Even the worst procrastinator doesn't wait until Christmas Eve to begin shopping and preparations. Most people are feverishly hunting, gathering, and scheming for weeks so that we can fully enjoy the day. We similarly approach our weekly Sabbath, which is to say, we plan for it.
The calendar is where we begin. Typically, our Sabbath starts with the dinner meal on Friday and concludes later on Saturday. Some weeks when we adjust due to work commitments or other responsibilities, but it is rare. Our kids immediately know to look for Sabbath on the whiteboard calendar. They understand we aren't working; there are no exhausting activities or social obligations. We don't wake up to an alarm; there are very few expectations. Once we've declared with certainty which day we will observe Sabbath, then we can back up and prepare.
We excitedly work together to get the house cleaned, complete errands, and have the refrigerator stocked because we know our rest day is coming. We view these things (chores, shopping, etc.) as "work" that is unpaid, so we try not to do those things on our day of rest. Inevitably, there are weeks that it doesn't all get done. But Sabbath is the practice of saying "no," and being content with what is. Very few things won't wait for one day.
Of course, kids still have to eat, and babies need changing, which is to say that Sabbath looks much different now that our kids are older than it did even a few years ago. For those with small children, here are some suggestions on how to prepare for your Sabbath:
Two words: grocery delivery. Almost all retailers offer it now; take advantage and tackle something else that only you can do. Alternative: have your spouse do a pick-up on their way home from work--along with the laundry and other errands that you need help with.
Make the most of nap time. I didn't. For a long time, I used those hours to get caught up rather than as a break. If your children nap at the same time, enjoy the calm. If they don't sleep, insist on "quiet time" for everyone. Make it a daily rhythm so that it becomes part of your weekly Sabbath practice as they get older.
Make an extra meal once a week and set aside or freeze for your Sabbath day. Another option: Sabbath is your take-out day!
Ask for help from your spouse, family, and friends to get your household chores complete. Have a teen come and watch babies so you can tackle your cleaning one afternoon, or send them to grandma's house for the day (or, if you're able, hire a housekeeper!) Quick note: kids are more capable than many parents realize. Teach them to sort laundry, wash dishes, chop vegetables, dust, wipe a mirror or counter, empty and load the dishwasher, or take out the trash when they are young. They will do a terrible job at first; encourage them anyway. Make it fun; put on music and dance. Watch them get excited about "helping" and watch as that grows over time.
Regardless of if you are single without kids or are married with a van full of littles, it is possible to compress your household responsibilities with some intentionality and the help of others. There will be things you'll have to compromise, and some weeks you'll have to ask yourself, "what do I need to let go of?" Give yourself grace as you learn a new way of living; more than likely, you'll fumble and feel silly at first, which is why we talk about "the practice" of Sabbath.
Start small. You might not be able to take a whole day. Maybe you and your spouse don't have a day off together. Do what you can. Wake up late and enjoy a leisurely morning, or block off an afternoon. Hire help if you can. Lower your expectations. Commit to learning and practicing. Resting well requires a little forethought, but it shouldn't stress you out or cause anxiety--that defeats the purpose of what we are trying to do.
For those looking for "what do you do on your Sabbath?" that's another post. Keep reading. Stay curious. Take the first step, put it on the calendar, and do everything to protect it. Sabbath requires effort, but I promise it is worth it.