Even When It Hurts Like Hell
“Even When It Hurts” is a song from the Hillsong United album Empires. I must have played it 1000 times over the past few months. Actually, I’d call it my life’s anthem from the summer:
The fight seemed lost ~
One week after another bad news, or sad news, or depressing news assaulted us. Relationships were falling apart, news of health problems came over the phone, and shattered dreams hit us within one months time. I haven’t cried as much, or as often, as I did over those summer weeks. Usually it was the only response I could muster.
And it hurt. Like hell ~
I kept praying and begging God to step in and do a miraculous work. I believe that He could have opened doors, and mended hearts in an instant, bringing people back together, and lifting the dark clouds of depression. But He didn’t.
It made no sense to sing ~
But that’s what I did. I kept singing. I continued to believe. My faith muscles grew stronger as learned to pray out of a place of anguish.
Take this mountain weight. Take these ocean tears. Hold me through the trial. Come, like hope again ~
And what happened as I sang, and trusted, and prayed, is that hope did come. It appeared in the faces of friends who loved me fiercely. A community engulfed me with support. They showed up and dug deep, offering to listen, hold me, let me ugly cry, and complain.
Even when my strength is lost. Even when I have no song. Even when it’s hard to find the words ~
Now it’s October and even though the hurts are still there, the initial pain has subsided. Prayers continue to be asked and we continue to wait for answers and open doors. We are believing for people to heal both physically and mentally. We ask that those who have walked away from their spouses, and God, to return.
Take this fainted heart. Take those tainted hands. Come like grace, again ~
He has come. He is coming. He will come.
And maybe, Friend, you need to hear that. That God’s grace is coming for you. That God hasn’t forgotten you. He hears you. He sees you. He is for you. And He wants to tackle you with love and mercy and tenderness and joy in the midst of your trial and pain. But to do that, He’s going to use people.
Let your community wrap you in a hug and let God melt away that pain. As they listen, He is working. As they pray and wait with you for your miracle, for your answer, for your breakthrough, He is moving on your behalf.
Be vulnerable. Let down that guard. Be honest about where you are and what you need. And watch. For God wants to answer those deep-hearted cries. And usually He uses the people in our life to do it.
Perhaps you are on the other side of this, and need a “gentle” nudge. Because God is waiting to answer the prayers of your friend, through you. Be present. Step into their mess. You don’t have to clean it up; you just have to sit in it with them. Pray. Listen. And when everything else has been done, praise Him together.
Even when the morning comes. Even when the fight is won. Even when my time on earth is done. Louder then I’ll sing your praise
I will only sing your praise