Love Is A Choice

Love is a six letter word.

  Not four. Not five. Six. And it’s spelled C-H-O-I-C-E.   It is not a feeling that hits us like an overwhelming wave and then takes us back out to sea when the winds change. It is not something we fall into…and then out of. Even though the songs, movies and cliches make us think so.   Love is not just passion. Romance. Lust. It is more than just the highlight reel that we share on social media. You know, the candlelit dinners, vacations, gifts, anniversaries, and other sweet memories. What may start as chemistry eventually evolves into something much deeper. Better. Stronger.   Small choices turn immature expectations into selfless acts. Greed makes room for giving. Communication gets better when we choose transparency and truth instead of deception and people-pleasing.   One choice at a time. One moment. One day. One year.   It’s hard work. It does not happen overnight. Nor do relationships fall apart in a day. They disintegrate in the same way they are built. One choice at a time.    

Omitting the truth. Staying quiet instead of sharing. Assuming rather than asking. Taking and not giving. Living in fear instead of trusting. Being rude rather than respecting.

  Again, not the easy things to do.    Truthfully I’m getting pretty passionate about this topic these days. Because I’m so saddened by the amount of people who treat others (and their relationships) like something to pick up, trade in, and toss away. It makes me sick actually.   I want a marriage that will thrive, not just endure. Which sadly, is what happens to many relationships. They don’t end in divorce, or separation even. They just slowly lose steam. They stop trying. They give up.  One decision at a time.   And I don’t know about you, but I want more than that for my marriage. I want it to flourish. Succeed. Prosper. I want it to continue to get better. Year after year.   And that means little choices. Consistently. Not just when it’s convenient. Or when I feel like it. Or when he deserves it. But all the time. Because he’s worth it. And I made a vow. And honoring that means honoring him.  

One day. One moment. One choice at a time.