I'm Not Really Fearless
“You guys are fearless!”
This is a comment that my husband and I have heard many times. Usually it’s after we finish telling some crazy story about a daring adventure, a miracle unfolding, or a bold move that we’ve made.
Me? I don’t feel fearless.
I have fears and regrets and doubts. Painful memories that I’d rather forget.
I feel the twinges of jealousy when others have experiences and opportunities that I dream of.
I struggle with insecurity at times, wondering if I over-share or come across as too strong.
And often I worry about living my whole life, and not leaving the legacy and having the impact that I so desperately want to have in this lifetime. (This is one of my greatest fears.)
And why do I lay awake at night, lamenting over what I view as missed opportunities… with my co-workers, neighbors, with my kids?
Because my life is not my own. And that’s why I have a compulsion to be a part of something that is bigger than little ‘ol me.
I want to inspire people (like you) to go out and chase their crazy dreams. I want others to know the sweet, satisfying, overwhelming feeling that comes at the end of the day when you’ve been completely poured out. When lay your head down at night and know that you have nothing left to give for that day. And you fall asleep with a smile on your face.
Because of what you gave.
If you are anything like me, there lies in the deepest, most intimate parts of your heart, spirit and mind, a craving to be poured out. To share what you have. To be generous. To connect. To offer hope. To inspire others. To create change.
To be emptied. Completely.You cannot imagine life any other way.
I guess this craving may seem to others as fearless. When I have made decisions that others don’t understand, wouldn’t make, or think foolish.
I know I’m in good company though. I know there are others who understand what it means to wake in the morning with expectancy. With urgency. With a burning in your heart to see things happen. To create. To inspire. To adventure.
Chances are, you know that feeling. That’s why you’re here reading this. You’re not crazy. Or fearless. You just believe there is no other way to live your life than to pursue your passion. Your purpose. Your daring adventure. Your crazy dreams.
I hope that today you realize them just a little more than you did yesterday.